21 Day's to Form a New Habit

Chicago has thrown another temper tantrum.  This time six inches of snow ... timing it for the afternoon commute.  It's been about a week since the last time I ran, and my body is also throwing a temper tantrum.  I'm antsy, I can't sit still, I can't sleep.  All I can think about is getting all this excess energy outtttt of me.  I remember people saying this, "Ugh I haven't been to the gym and I'm itching to run." ... And thinking they were showing off because they were going to the gym, but turns out it actually happens.  I read that it takes 21 days to form a habit.  I started on Feb 4th, and today is Feb 28th.  I've finally developed a habit!

I'm starting to get into how much I'm running and how fast.  I started using Nike Plus (shameless plug) to track them, and it's amazing.  There's something about sharing what you're doing with other people that motivates you to get off your but and run.  Just do it.  The only way to do it is to do it.  I tell people that at work all the time.  They always say things like "Oh you're so hard on me..." "Wow you're intense..." But It doesn't make any sense to me ... It's like people who complain about failing school while they are out partying.  I'm wondering "Why are you surprised ... Open a book."   Once you stand up and decide, "I'm going to do this."  And then do it, you won't regret it.  I've never got off the treadmill thinking, wow I'm so upset that I finished that last mile.  I feel like I was stuck in old habits before I started focusing on what I was doing ... I would just think my life is not going where I want it to go.  But I kept doing the same things.  I stayed in the job I wasn't crazy about.  I stayed with the wrong person way way too long.  I live on my own and commute so I end up worrying about money all the time.  I was unhappy with the weight I gained, but I would eat an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting.  So now it's time to form some more new habits ... I'm moving to Boston.  I'm leaving my job to go back to school.  I've blocked my ex (which I still feel childish about ... but it is nice to know that we're done.).  Looking at the rest of the things in my life as things I need to just do, and then do it.

16 Miles Down 234 Miles To Go

Quality Time and Night Clubs

First three mile run complete!  I did a straight ten minute mile for the first two, and I started noticing that ... My legs were moving really fast.  I tried to focus on slowing down and taking longer strides, adapting my running to the treadmill.  So uncomfortable.  For the last mile, I hiked up the speed and set off on my first nine minute mile.  I couldn't breathe.  Holy cow.  The only way to run is not to think about running ... You have to refocus on something else.  As I was running my third mile on a Saturday morning, I was thinking about night clubs.  You know N Tis N Tis N Tis Random sneaky guy behind you type places.  If I had been at one last night, I would not be here barely breathing busting my butt.  I can not remember the last time I went to one... It's been so long.  I remember spending nights dancing aimlessly in front of the speakers until I could barely hear anything.  Now when I have more than three beers, it takes me a full day to recover.  I feel like I've become one with my blankets and can't separate them from me for at least a full twelve hours and one large chipotle burrito later.  What happened?

Last week I went to a dinner with some friends and we were talking about the Five Love Languages: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch.  One of my good friends is getting married and reading through this book is part of the pre-wedding prep work.  I was pretty apprehensive to dive into this.  It seemed like some overly fluffy way to group people into categories, have a little church chat, and then move on and forget about it.  Eventually I caved and googled the book only to realize it was sitting on my shelf.  As I started reading it, I realized I was right, it was overly flowery and butterflies everywhere.  At the same time, it was spot on.  My friends and I had talked about this before when I was in El Salvador and I've only recently taken the quiz to determine which I am.  You can score 1-13.  I scored:

Physical Touch - 13
Quality Time - 12
Gifts - 2
Words of Affirmation - 1
Acts of Service - 1

Clear winner.  Also clear answer to what happened.  I'd much rather have dinner and sit in a pub with a group of friends than kill my feet dancing the night away with which ever random guy see's me.  Of my best friends, many of them live out of Chicago and we have weekly or so phone dates to catch up on life.  I use to go wherever everyone was going and do whatever the group was up for.  Now I've found myself peeling away from the masses a little and getting to know my friends so much better.

I can barely breathe and my first nine mile run and three miles in a row are done!  Success!

14 Miles Down 236 Miles To Go

Limbo

I love pairing a long run with an episode of Sex in the City.  It's the obvious rule book for good relationships.  (Joke ...) Today the episode was on where Carrie and Big broke up.  They were talking about how when you break up with someone, it takes half the time you were with them to move on.  If this is true ... I have another year before I get over my last ex.  We dated four years, and we broke up barely a year ago.  Although ... Since I blocked him I haven't really thought of him that much.  I'm starting to get to the point where I can't really remember him.  I can't remember his voice or how he use to act, and sometimes if I try to remember what he looks like I need a picture to remind me.  I'm pretty sure this is my mind telling me "block him out!!!".  Anyways, I hope it doesn't take that long ... That's ridiculous.  I really think that you can't be over someone until you start dating someone else you really like.  So ... I started first dating (before my dating ban).  One date, dinner, drink, and that's it.  All of them just bored me.  I couldn't get through a beer without wondering what excuse I was going to use to escape.  I felt like I was pulling conversation out of them.  How did dating become so boring ...  I did come up with a couple deal breakers.  1 - On the first date, buy my drink.  If I buy my own ... No second date. 2 - Please don't ignore me and watch the game.  I came to talk to you.  3 - After a couple drinks you need to take me out to dinner.  When did boys become so lazy about dating?

I saw this quote that I really liked, "You have time for everything you choose to make a priority."  I think if someone wants to date me, they should be doing that.  So while I'm on my "let's be single" kick, I think I'll remain in this limbo and keep making it easier to forget about my ex and not miss him.

11 Miles Down 239 Miles To Go

Run with the Kenyans

Something that has always been a big part of my life is community service.  In high school, college, and then not so much in adult life.  How does it happen that you become a grown up and forget to do things you use to love?  I wish work didn't take up so much time every week.  They want you to come in every day, and then they expect you to stay the whole day!  I remember my first week of work realizing that the eight hour day did not include lunch ... That it was in fact a nine hour day.  Lucky for me ... I have the option to take some time off before I go back to school.  I was recently presented with the opportunity to spend a month in Kenya this summer.  The travelbug inside me is literally dancing around it's so happy.  I use to love love doing things like this and always came back refreshed.  I will be teaching ... which will be interesting for me.  Whenever I spend extended time with kids ... It is exhausting.  Something about it just overwhelms me.

Last summer I spent 10 days in El Salvador building a cement road that brought food and medical supplies up the side of a mountain.  Most of the people there live on two dollars a day, and those commercials with flies fluttering around the kids that you always thing are made up ... Well they are actually real.  They spend so much time trying to find basic things like food, medicine, and work.  When my dad gets sick, he will wait a month and a half until he can't watch an episode of Maury with out a coughing fit to go to the doctor.  It's funny how happy everyone there was though.  They just played soccer, shared everything and were always so welcoming.  For some reason they kept giving us Coke ... I think they thought Americans love Coke.  I think If I spend a month in Kenya, it'll give me some perspective that I've been looking for.

I mentioned to a friend that I was considering going ... and her first question was ... Will you be running with the Kenyans? I haven't thought this through completely ... I think they've won quite a few Olympic Medals.  I am so excited.

9 Miles Down 241 Miles To Go

Childish?

Tough. Run.

I've made a mistake that I hate making, but it's impossible to avoid.  I took a couple days off of running.  I've been sick the past week, and just couldn't motivate myself to move quickly.  Actually that's a lie.  I had a runny nose the last time I ran, and this has got to be the most challenging thing to run with.  Except sneezing.  I sneezed about four times in my one mile journey.  I almost fell off the treadmill.  Talk about embarrassing, to be the girl who falls and goes flying backwards because of a sneeze.

There's something about being sick that makes me turn into the biggest high maintenance baby.  I just want to come home, crawl into bed, drink pulp free expensive orange juice, and sleep for hours on end.  Which I've pretty much been doing.  Today as I was running though ... I didn't look at the time.  It seemed like I could barely think about anything and the twenty minutes was over.

Well anything except Valentines Day.  My friend calls it "Single Person Awareness Day."  I feel like when you get out of a relationship that was long, the next year you're constantly comparing major holidays to whatever happened a year ago, but I can't remember what I did last year.  I was dating someone, but I can't for the life of me remember if we even went out to dinner.  I dated him off and on (mostly on) for four years.  I remember one year we broke up in late January.  On Valentines Day he texted me and said "I was thinking about you, I hope you're having a good night."  Bleh.  Boys - Do not do this to your ex girlfriends.

So this year, I did something that at first I thought was rather childish.  I blocked his number.  We have been apart almost a year now, and about every two weeks having the same conversation.  "I miss you."  "I need to be alone for a while."  "This is so hard for me." "You're dumb." "I still miss you."  This happened last a few weeks ago.  I went out with some friends one night, I got drunk enough to think talking to him was a good idea.  The next morning when I woke up, I read through our conversation.  I decided that enough was enough.  This was making me miserable, and dragging on.  After talking to a friend from work who phrased it "Will you be upset if he calls on Valentines Day?" I said yes.  "Will you be upset if he doesn't?"  I said yes.  I'm not really sure why I thought it would bother me, but I do know that I want to be done with that.  So far, I consider blocking the number a good change.

This year I actually had a very very good Single People Awareness Day.  I got a little wine drunk with a friend after work, and came home to a box of a dozen gourmet cupcakes.  Now I definitely have some excess calories to burn off on the next few miles!

7 Miles Down 243 Miles To Go

Ombre Experiment Fail

So I have this theory about girls who change their hair ... I've donated my hair four times to locks of love.  It's a charity organization that makes wigs for children with cancer.  While I was in high school, a friend discovered that she had cancer.  At the time I had Little Mermaid Hair (that's what I call it when it covers your bikini top area), and I wanted to do something.  For the first time I donated my hair, and she cut the pony tail.  Shortly after, I realized that it takes three pony tails to make one wig (wwwhhhaaattt).  So I decided to donate a full wig.  So my theory about hair.  Each and every time I have donated my hair or made a drastic change, a big relationship has ended.  In high school, the first time I donated ... my high school sweetheart and I broke up. Senior year of high school Boyfriend 2 relationship ends.  In college ... and you get the point.

This silly theory followed me all the way to my last boyfriend ... where I refused to cut my hair.  Eventually I caved and he teased and teased me about it.  So much that when I went in for a trim, he picked a fake fight with me.  Anyways ... I've always felt like drastic hair changes caused drastic life changes.  However, over the weekend when I dyed my hair ombre ... Nothing happened.  I went out.  Bought blonde.  Dyed the tips. Redyed the tips higher.  Washed it and dried it.  It looked exactly the same.  I don't want to read into this too much, but maybe I will stay single for a little bit.  It makes it a lot easier to focus on you.

5 Miles Down 245 Miles To Go

The Gym and My Hair

It's been almost a week ... and I have two miles to show for it.  I realize I need to pick up the pace.  Today I did my first two mile run.  (I know ... hard core).  In the midst of another snow storm, I ran two miles.  Take that Chicago!! Can we discuss the gym for a second?  I would normally not join one, except that I chose to live in the city with the temper of a two year old.  This week we had rain, snow, sleet, ice, sunshine, and something that resembled a slushie.  So ... I joined a gym.  I'll be honest, it's a meathead gym.  You walk in the door and there are gallons of protein powder everywhere and some high school girl in yoga pants is  announcing a sale on one of them that only lasts the next hour.  It was sort of annoying at first ... Every time I would walk up to the weights they would grunt and look at me like I was nuts when I picked up my 25 lb weights.  But now its kind of nice ... They are too busy checking themselves out in the mirror to hit on me.  Right now ... I sort of appreciate that.  I do wish they would wear deodorant and not so much cologne though ... One of the bonuses is that the treadmills are ALWAYS open, I just need to be able to make it through more than 2 miles at a time.  I've decided to start lifting weights to make running easier.  I naturally resorted to pinterest, pinned a bunch of workouts, and am officially the girl in the weights on her iphone.  (P.S. Dear Pinterest, posting pictures of other people with hot bodies, is not workout motivation.)  So I started adding Pinterest workouts into my running schedule.  Choosing to add in lifting to make running easier ... makes me think I'm going to have to start making smaller life changes too.  It's too bad you can't just wake up one day and have everything you want.  I think i'm going to dye my hair ... Ombre ... I've always wanted to do something "trendy".

4 Miles Down 246 Miles To Go

Graduate School

Mile 2!! I'm making my first major change.  Today I mailed my acceptance letter to Graduate School.  I'm getting an MBA.  To be fair, I started making this decision months ago when I took the GMAT and put together an application.  I've spent a lot of time and research trying to decide if this would be the best next move for me.  My career started in IT Consulting and moved to Internal Operations Consulting.  I think I've stayed in this area for as long as I have because I hate problems.  I can't stand when things don't get done correctly when it's possible.  I enjoy fixing things and saving time and money for people.  There are so many things about Consulting that made it difficult for me to have the kind of life I wanted, primarily traveling Monday - Friday working 12 hour days.

At the risk of sounding like every other college graduate, I want my work to matter.  Ultimately, I want to be realigning processes and making improvements in a hospital.  As an Operations Consultant, I am currently in the health care industry.  A couple years ago, I spent two weeks in the hospital.  After seeing everything that can happen and go wrong ... I would love to be in the position to help improve that environment.  Plus, who doesn't want to go back to college life for two more years?  So ... I'll be quitting my job, trading in my business casual for jeans, and moving to a new state in six months!

If I keep making drastic changes like this after every two miles ... I could be a foot taller living in Australia next year working as a professional soccer player.

2 Miles Down 248 Miles To Go

Mile 1

On day one, I am already doubting my decision.  On my way to the gym at 5:00 AM, the first snowstorm happens in over a year.  I'm exhausted, It's early, and I'm driving in a snowstorm.  It took me an hour and a half to get to the gym.  As soon as I got to the gym I was so happy I made it.  I stepped on the treadmill in my new yoga pants, and started to run.  Eventually I started to feel exhausted, I felt like I had been running for hours.  When I looked down at the time, it had almost been three minutes.  I would have to repeat what I had just done roughly 833 more times.  WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR?

I've never been a runner.  I've always enjoyed sports like dance or yoga.  In particular yoga where you get to lay on the floor half the work out.  I'm not lazy, but I'm not conditioned for endurance.  I think this is how I've been living my life.  Small changes, in spurts.  I've been making tiny choices to make myself happy, like I think I'll have sushi for dinner or I'll go on a weekend trip to some place I've never been.  It always works momentarily.  Over the past four and a half years, I have done more traveling than the 20 years before that.  I had a traveling job, and took full advantage.  I went Skydiving in Hawaii, to Vegas twice (and left up both times), I went ziplining in el salvador after building a cement road, climbed up a waterfall in Jamaica, went to Octoberfest, taught English to schoolchildren in India, had a Guiness at the Guiness factory in Dublin, and have seen numerous states in the US.  As much fun as I was having, I think I've just been putting bandaids on the bigger issues that I didn't know how to or have the guts to change.  So ... What do I need to fix?

1 Mile Down, 249 To Go

250 Miles, 1 Year

Have you ever had a moment where you become very aware of what you are doing and where you are?  Let me preface this story with full warning that it is embarrassing.  It happen to me on a Saturday afternoon while I was sitting at home streaming an old season of 24.  In an effort to save some cash I had been taking on a lot of do it yourself projects.  I was trying to balance saving money and living in Chicago, and I found myself trying to crochet leg warmers.  As I watched the characters fall into each others arms, after he saved the world from a nuclear bomb, I realized that I was sitting inside watching other people live.  How did I end up in a studio apartment by myself crocheting a boot sock on a Saturday afternoon?

I told you it was embarrassing.

Somewhere along the lines I had made a series of choices that landed me in this situation, and I realized this is not at all where I want to be.  It's time to focus on me and where I want to be in five years.  Because if you would have asked me when I graduated college 5 years ago if I would be crocheting a boot sock to save money, I would have laughed in your face and gone to the bar.

Despite my opening story, my life is usually so hectic I sometimes forget to eat.  The time I really have to myself to think about things is when I'm running.  So it seemed clear, I need to take some serious time and focus on making changes.  This year I will run 250 miles.

0 Miles Down 250 Miles To Go