I've been thinking a lot lately about how much happier I've been, and what has made me so happy. I look at my friends and family and I want to be as happy as they are. I've been comparing my happiness to people getting engaged, married, puppies, houses ... But none getting their MBA's. I'm not the same as them, and I'm sure they were happy before they did all those things, just like I am now. Also, for the first time since high school, I'm so happy with my body. Not because I "look" a certain way, but because in the beginning I was dying after one mile, and this week I will run more than 20 miles. I wanted to do a marathon a month, and this week, I'll almost do that! I could run forever ... except today. Today I was dying with two minutes left in my four miles. I think it was because I'd been running 4+ miles back to back, but I felt like my legs were giving up. I kept thinking in my mind that I did not spend a year running to walk the final few miles, and I just kept pushing myself ... This is not the time to stop kicking ass.
When I think about all the things that I think will make me happy, it's a lot easier for me to define them now. I use to want a serious relationship, lots of friends, kids and a puppy. Somehow I got wrapped up in the wrong relationship, and I ignored all the signs that we were wrong for each other. I've stopped tying my "happiness" to a person or thing, but tying it to my ability to do the things I want to do. I've been running, eating healthy, putting myself through college, and traveling wherever I want to go. I feel like I've taken the last year of my life and given myself a hard reset. My old work out is now my warm up. I can't lose weight because I'm all muscle. I'm going to be the first one in my family to get an MBA, and I'm the first one to move away from home.
I took a deep breath, and focused on the fact that I only have two minutes left ... plus one more run tomorrow. One more run ...
364 Miles Down 3 Miles to Go
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