Everything is Nothing

Everything happens for a reason.  Everything happens for a reason.  Everything happens for a reason.  I'm not going to Africa.  The trip ended up costing much more than I anticipated, and I'm just not sure it's a good idea to spend that much.  I envy people who don't ever worry about money.  I guess this is just part of "putting myself through school."  I am trying not to think too much into this, because I'm still going to have two months off work.  I'm going to San Antonio, Minneapolis, and possibly Ft. Lauderdale.  I'm also going to live in Chicago for the first time in five years (despite the fact that my apartment has always been here).

When I called my dad to tell him he said, "You're deciding between two amazing options for the summer.  Either way you'll enjoy yourself."  I am starting to think that backing out of the trip because it got too expensive will give me more flexibility to see my family and friends more before I disappear into the black hole of graduate school.

Sometimes I'm really happy with everything that is going on in my life.  I'm getting ready to go back to graduate school, I have a great job, and awesome friends.  Other times, I see my friends buying houses, getting married, and starting families and I wonder if I would be happier doing that.  All my friends from small towns in Indiana are married and already starting families.  All my friends in Chicago are living like they are still in fraternities.  I think I am somewhere in the middle, and I just haven't found even ground yet.  It's kind of odd how when I look at them, I feel like I'm missing that.  When I talk to them, they sometimes seem jealous I can live downtown, go on trips, and have the freedom to pick up move across the country and start graduate school.  I think today I just had one of those moments where I realized, I'm glad I'm making some serious changes in my life because it needs them.

116 Miles Down 134 Miles To Go