The Page I'm On

It seems like lately whenever I feel like my life is starting to get frustrating, I get all my tension out through bikram yoga.  During my free time this week, I started reading.  Really reading.  I'm on my third book (and super tan from all this exhausting reading in the sun).  A good friend bought a book for me called "Happiness Project" which is a sort of memoir written by someone who discovered she wanted more happiness out of life.  Her thought was not to look back on the "good old days" and recognize them as good, but to do it while she was in them.  This seems oddly close to what I've been doing ...

I'm in this middle ground, where my career is lining up.  I love my friends.  I finally don't miss my ex-boyfriend, and sometimes I have to really focus to remember what he even looked like.  I understand why we broke up and that he felt like he needed to be on his own, and I want him to be happy too.  I just really don't want to see him again.  I love drawing, cooking, getting healthier, yoga, and all the things I've been doing.  I miss dating.  I am so happy I miss it!! A few months ago, I was dodging dates and pretending to have a boyfriend when I was asked out.  Now ... I just need to find someone who is on the same page as I am.  I guess I should figure out what page I am on first though.  I've always been sort of a serial dater.  I either have a boyfriend or I am seeing no one.  If it's not going to turn into a relationship, I usually let it be.  I think it's funny when you've gone out with someone a few times and then they are caught off guard that you want to be in a relationship.  What do you think dating is for?  I always think it's funny when people have been dating for a long time, and then someone is surprised that the other wants to get married.  Doesn't dating usually come before marriage?  I don't know many marriages that didn't start with dating.  If you're not going to get married ... why would you keep dating that person?  Sure it is fun, but it's also distracting you from someone who could be better for you.

I really don't think I'll ever have one of those 'whirlwind' romances where you meet fall in love and are married in a hot minute, but I need to get better at recognizing when I'm in a relationship if it's something I could be serious about.  I don't think in my last relationship ever thought about if he would be a good husband.  He was an alright boyfriend, and we had been together a long time ... So I never left.  But now looking back, I probably should have.  He was my best friend who I cared about a lot, but never fell in love with.  I was having too much fun dating him to realize we didn't want to marry each other.  Which is kind of liberating now ... It wouldn't have lasted.  So maybe that's the page I'm on.  I want something that will last.

127 Miles Down 123 Miles To Go

3 Bikram Yogas