Closing Recovery and Patience, Opening Fun and Adventure

I love the holidays.  There's nothing that makes me soooo happy and sooo incredibly frustrated simultaneously.  I survived Thanksgiving dinner without eating meat.  I thought being "vegetarian" (flexitarian, pescatarian whatever fancy label I fall under while I'm trying to be healthy) would be tricky, but Thanksgiving sides are amazing.  And I took a poll and realized that most people don't even like Thanksgiving turkey.  Anyways, I ate so much I needed to get my but in motion.  Once I stood between my dad and the TV long enough I was able to convince him to take me to the gym, and I had an amazing treadmill run at my old meathead gym.

I finally feel like I live in Boston, I came home and everything was pretty much the same, but everything was so different.  My brother and his girlfriend moved in together.  They're starting to make the suburbs look not so scary.  Their problems are actually hilarious.  My brother moved in with a bed frame and six gaming systems, and she moved in with 1,000 boxes.  My favorite addition of hers is her five Christmas trees.  My brother's rule for her is "One in, two out."

One running annoyance snuck up on me that I thought for sure I was done with... Shin splints.  How did they find me?!  I haven't had them in months.  The last three runs, I've been basically running through them trying not to notice they were happening.  And then it hit me, I need new shoes!!  I've run out a pair of shoes.  I know this is cheesy, but I was thinking about how far I've come in these shoes.  I was bored, broke, and lonely.  Now I'm anything but bored, still broke (but on my way to making money!!), and being lonely sometimes doesn't bother me anymore.  Now I get to buy new shoes, and see where these next ones take me.  For my next pair of shoes, I want to focus on fun and adventure.  I'm closing the chapter on recovery and patience.

236 Miles To Go 79 Miles To Go

Holiday Morning Runs

Well today's run was a strange one.  There's nothing like going back to the suburbs to realize that you didn't grow up follow the suburban triangle and end up living in the suburbs.  We have a 5K that is around the town I grew up in, and I ran it with my best friend from high school and her family.  (My sister was working, and I couldn't convince anyone else in my family that an 8:00 am run the day of Thanksgiving was better than sleeping in.)

My race today was sandwiched with awkward situations.  So I got to the race, went to pick up my race shirt, and my exboyfriend from high school's mom is handing them out.  I thought she might not notice me, so I spelled my name really quickly ... She looked up from her computer slowly and said "Oh I know you!" Excellent.  "Are you running this morning with anyone or did you come alone?"  Who asks that ... I just took my small bib and went back to the group I was with.  I forgot how different the suburbs were, I've been spoiled living downtown big cities for the past six year.

After the race, as I'm running to my car with a handful of baby cinnamon rolls, a coffee, and frozen water bottle, I run into the marine's sister.  (It's funny how people run a 5K, then they grab so many snacks at the end it's like they've never eaten before.  We burned maybe 300 calories, which is one bagel.  Anyways there I was with my handful of baby cinnamon rolls...)  I was so excited to see her I didn't see his whole family arrive behind her.  His mom hugged me, "How's Boston?!?!" "Have you been to DC to visit my son?!?!"  Eeeekkkk..... I guess he didn't tell her.

Sometimes it's a bit of a bummer to be single on the holidays, but the pluses are pretty sweet too.  I bought myself some great Christmas presents.  I think maybe I'll go on a trip somewhere ... Do something crazy.

232 Miles Down 83 Miles To Go

Eventually.

Ugh ... I'm injured again.  I've been so busy with things like Finance, Operations, and Marketing that I haven't run in a while.  And today I got the worst shin splints.  I could barely get through today's run.  I was literally in pain the whole time ... and finally I realized, I need new shoes.  I've run the maximum number of miles for a pair of running shoes.  I have never done this before.  All I could think about today is what a pain in the ass milestone this is.
 
That and I'm going home for the holidays soon.  I love and hate going home.  It's always refreshing to go home, but I'm in such a different place than most of my friends that sometimes it's kind of a bummer.  Recently I even got a text from a friend that says "Life update, I'm getting married in a few months in Ireland.  Please join us if you can.  Also, I bought a house."  He got engaged about a month ago.  Once you get into your late 20's early 30's it seems like everything happens lightning fast for everyone in the dating world.  They meet someone fall in love immediately or are done immediately and move on.  The stories of how people meet are getting more and more ridiculous too.  I have a friend who met someone crossing the street ... months later they are still talking.  My friend who is getting married in Ireland, blew out his knee in the military, came home and reconnected with an old girlfriend.  Whenever I hear stories like this, I wonder if I'll reconnect with an ex sometime ... Maybe the one who lives in Florida or the one who lives in Ohio.  (I think all the rest are married ... I'm not that into married men).  I feel like I need to do something drastic to meet someone ... like move across the country or go skydiving again.  Maybe I'll fall in love with my instructor.  Anyways ... This weekend I'll be going home to my dads house to watch history movies with him.

229 Miles Down 86 Miles To Go

He Doesn't Know He Doesn't Like Me

It's freezing out, and I wimped out and went to the gym.  The good old college gym. Much different than the macho muscle meat heads I'm use to working out with.  Here it's stretchy yoga pants, make up, and girls pretending to stretch while they bend over a knee and text.  Someone actually had her hair down while she was on a rowing machine.  Even the guys are pretty funny.  They lift one rep and wander to the drinking fountain.  Stand in front of the TV for a while and wander over to another machine.  I assume this is what it is like to work out hungover.

I've had a realization about dimples that I can't seem to let go of.  I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me, but he doesn't realize he doesn't like me.  That sounds very confusing, but it is actually very simple.  He would make these little comments, "Your place is kinda messy." After he'd come over and I didn't realize he was coming. He found a pair of jeans in my bathroom and said, "Oh you have pants on the floor.  Interesting."  I made a comment about not even having time to buy a bed skirt and he said, "Yeah I noticed."  So ... I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to date someone like me, I'm just not sure he realizes it because he keeps wanting to see me. There are some other odd things that have been happening, he seemed to share quite a bit of personal information with me.  Things I'm not sure I should know even if we were very close.  And there was a little bit of a red flag that he didn't have the best money handling skills.  Is that what dating is now?  If I think you may have a bad credit score, then I'm out?

I just don't want to ignore red flags again, and I don't want to spend time dating someone who I think will want to try to change me.  So ... I decided to do the mature thing and cancel Ikea furniture date and just be busy.  Honestly, I was actually very busy, but it was easier to tell him I was busy than to tell him that I think he doesn't like me and he's been kinda rude.

As soon as I told my dad this, he sent me this link.  He's talking about how texting has changed dating.  How you avoid situations where one person likes the other and we no longer have to have that awkward conversation. He thinks "You just pretend to be busy forever.  Why risk someone's feelings where you can create an alternate reality where scheduling is the problem."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiLaukbxQMs

228 Miles Down 87 Miles To Go

Why Nothing Gets Done

I got my grades back.  Handled that like an adult.  My friend and I got the email.  Closed our computers.  Left the business school.  Immediately ordered two stiff dirty martini's.  It seems like our grades were determined somewhat arbitrarily.  I keep trying to remember, that they don't matter.  And failing in graduate school means getting a B-.  I came here to get health care background and to learn more about hospitals in the area.  As long as I don't fail out, or lose my scholarship I think I am ok.  I'm not use to getting any B's, so I hate it.  Next module, I will just decide to prepare for every exam, and put the social and career exploration second.  Hopefully eventually I'll have more time for those things.

I also made a huge decision, I applied to get a Masters in Public Health.  I'm not really sure why, I made an impulse decision.  I can get my MBA and my MPH in two years for the same price.  I'm not 100% sure I'll need it with my career goals, but I would really like to be in a less competitive and more organized environment.

However, I feel like I've finally discovered the reason I went to grad school: My Ops Professor.  She's amazing.  She use to be a nurse practitioner in a hospital.  She got frustrated that she couldn't make process improvements to the way things were done, so she went back to school.  She focused on operations management and when she graduated she went into hospital consulting.  Her professor said to her one day, "You're so smart.  Why do you want to go into operations?  All the smart people go into strategy."  She laughed and said, "That's why nothing ever gets done."  I love her.  I went to meet with her, and after 45 minutes of talking with her, she just bluntly said, "What is your dream job, and how can I help you get it?"  She does hospital consulting for the hospitals in the area FOR FREE.  She feels bad charging them for identifying changes she thinks are so obvious.  She's putting me in touch with people in Boston, and I'm meeting them for coffee.

So now ... I need to really think about what I want to do next year.

224 Miles Down 91 Miles To Go

Ikea Furniture Date

I've located dimples for sure.  He walked me home last weekend and texted me to let me know "Stay away from the potato chips.  You're welcome."  He's a second year in my program, which already seems a little bit risky.  He's really nice and has been walking me home from school, which is about 30 minutes out of the way for him.  He finally walked me home, and after four other walks, he kissed me before he left.  I should be really excited, he cooks, he's older, he's funny, he loves dogs ... he's been going out of his way to be so nice but ... I'm not sure how I feel about him.  It came up when he was over, I'm not really sure how, that he doesn't want kids.  It was dropped so casual in conversation, I can't tell if he was even serious about it or joking.  So .. now what?

It's not exactly a first month of hanging out with someone question: "Hey ... I know you mentioned before you didn't want kids.  Are you serious?  Because if you are ... I'm not sure this is going to work."  I think I'll try to maybe casually drop it into conversation again and judge his level of freak out.  I don't want to have a baby tomorrow, but if someone doesn't want any at all... I just don't have enough free time to spend dating them.  Dating as an adult is so different, as soon as I find out there is something I'm not willing to compromise, I can't make myself keep dating them.  He did offer to take me out to dinner for my birthday, and help me build the Ikea furniture I ordered two months ago when I moved in.  (I'm convinced Ikea furniture was designed to make girls need boys.)

Ikea Furniture Perspective

220 Miles Down 95 Miles To Go