Sustainability

I'm finally fired up, and stamina to keep up with it.  I ran five miles today, and I stopped because I was running out of time.  As soon as I finish this challenge, I want to run a half marathon.  I've been talking about it for years now, and it's time to buckle down, pick one and run it.

I've been shifting my focus towards a "buzz word" that is all around MBA world: sustainability.  I've been working so hard the past year to make tiny and drastic changes to my life, and I want to make sure I make them a part of my new life and not just a collection of random things I did.  I really need to untangle myself from the boys in my life and be able to meet a new one.  I can run five miles and I can keep up with all the things I've changed in my life.  I've noticed reading back through the "decisions" I've made that I can be a bit of a flip flopper.  I even got a bit annoyed with myself.  I always want to be open to new experiences and whatever twists and turns life throws at me, but for pete's sake sometimes you have to say no to things. Some things are just bad for you and you have to only let them be part of the past.  I've had such a hard time for whatever reason recognizing what pieces to leave and which ones to keep with me.

I've focused on three major areas: Boys, Jobs, and Health.  At least I've identified that I was miserable with my decisions in all areas before I started this challenge.  I narrowed down the three problem areas and am making tiny changes in all of them.  I really expected some big "Kablam!!" moment or something to happen to me like it does in books and movies, but it turns out my journey was lots and lots of tiny changes that brought me back to grad school in another state: going vegetarian (or clean eating), focusing on a career in hospital management, and choosing to be single instead of with someone I know isn't a good fit for me.  All things I'm frustrated with at times, but happier with now that I'm here.

I've been pretty good at eating vegetarian, watching my nutrition, finding new recipes, cooking at home, and it is amazing how much what you eat affects your mood.  I've worked my way through the professional network in Boston and found a job this summer doing hospital administration, which is perfectly in line with what I think my career will be.  So we will see!  I thing the source of my flip flopping is the boys.  Maybe this is where the big "Kablam" moment will come?  I have no idea ...

327 Miles Down 14 Miles to Go

Hippopotamus

Today I had my second hospital internship interview.  I really want to be in one this summer, and I was thinking this as I walked into the last one.  As I was strolling up the sidewalk in my suit with my fancy Kate Spade purse, the man walking out of the building had literally just peed himself.  What am I getting myself into?  I had a great conversation with both BU alumni that I spoke with in my interviews.  One had exactly the same background as me, and wrote me a very very nice email telling me he though I should seriously consider the hospital for the next step in my career.  The second one told me if I didn't have an internship by March to call him and he would look for something for me there.  Definitely a step in the right direction ... especially because there are only a handful of internships at hospitals in Boston, all of which are super competitive...

I've also spent some time thinking about the Florida ex.  Last time I talked to him, he wanted to come up to Boston to visit.  He was asking about MLK weekend, which is next weekend.  When I mentioned it to him he said, "I can't that weekend, but I definitely want to talk about coming up."  It was his suggestion to come that weekend ... and I guess something must have come up?  When I thought about all the chemistry and things we had in common ... I forgot about all the arguing and things we didn't have in common.  We fought so much over everything that we had a safe word for fighting.  (Not the fun kind of safe word that most couples have.)  If we got too intensely arguing, I would say "Hippopotamus" and we would stop and take ten minutes away from each other to calm down.  He went from "I want to come visit you" to one word reply answers.  Maybe I gave him too much credit when I thought we still could work ...

275 Miles Down 40 Miles to Go