One of my very best friends told me she was engaged.
One of my very best friends got a puppy.
One of my very best friends moved.
One of my very best friends got a new job.
One of my very best friends started her baby on solid food.
... Why can't I stop focusing on this? What is going on? I'm pushing to change all this "stuff" in my life, but I haven't found the change that makes me happy yet. I'm still occasionally frustrated. My friend texted me at 5:00 AM this week, "Call me as soon as you wake up!!" My thought process went something like this: 1 - Someone is in the hospital. 2 - She's pregnant. 3 - She's engaged. Luckily ... She's engaged! My nose started tingling and I started getting tearey eyed. I miss my friends. My ex was my best friend for the four years we were together. He listened to me on the phone, had dinner, went out for drinks, movies whatever I wanted. Somehow I fell into this black hole of relationship land and slowly lost touch with my good platonic friends. The last time I had friends who knew me inside and out was college, five years ago. Holy @#%!. I think part of the reason this happened aside from dating Maybe is because I moved to Chicago and took a traveling job. All my college friends were dispersed across the U.S. and I barely saw them.
As soon as I moved to Chicago, I realized that life was not like the TV show "Friends". You can't sit in a coffee shop all day, date someone new every couple weeks, and I don't recall a scene where they went to the bars (which seems like the only thing people do here). They just hang out and get to know each other literally all the time. Stay skinny and never go to the gym, eat and rarely cook (except Monica). I made a lot of "friends" in the city, but none of them knew me as well as the people I lived with the four years of college. When I'm a big fan of running and yoga, it's tough to make new ones. You can't run behind someone or sneak up beside them and say Hi. You also can't introduce yourself to someone next to you in bikram yoga (it's silent) or after class (everyone pretty much gets naked to change out of their soaked yoga clothes right away ... and that would be weird). I don't work in the city so it's tough to make work friends. I've set myself up to not make friends! What?!?!
I'm seriously considering if I want to live in a big city after school. I do have some new living criteria: no more commuting. Also, It's time to live somewhere that I want to know my neighbors. For now, I can't control any of that, and its sooooo frustrating. So I'm trying to focus on things that I can change. I'm going to try something I've always wanted to try: going vegan. Not permanently, but for one week. I've occasionally gone vegetarian or only eaten fish. Not because I have an emotional connection, but because I just feel better. So I'm going to try to change the way I eat and see if I can't get myself feeling a little better. One week to focus on things I can change: food!
65 Miles Down 185 Miles To Go
I love that quote! Can't wait to hear how your vegan week goes. Good luck!
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