I do what I want

I realized lately ... that I'm much happier when I don't do things I don't want to do.  I prefer to only do what I want to when I want to do it.  Today the weather was beautiful.  Hot, but cold breezy.  I relaxed at the pool all day to recover from bikram yoga.  I ran without interruption feeling amazing.

I'm not really sure how I got this way ... It's something normal people learn early in life.  But if I don't want to do something, I will literally put it off forever.  For example, I have lived in my apartment two years, and dusted once.  Because I had visitors coming.  Another thing I really hate is sharing.  I'm not sure but I feel like I shouldn't have to.  Whenever I have friends around, I have to consciously think about sharing with them.

I'm a little nervous about spending the weekend with my ex from college ... when I really dislike doing things I don't want to do.  I'm use to being on my own, and sticking to what I want.  I change plans at a flip because I feel like it, or turn off my phone and hibernate for a few days on a whim.  I remember when I dated him before, I would just do what he wanted to do.  It never bothered me at the time, but now I can't imagine doing that again.  I've decided preventatively that I'm going to have to be open to someone else's schedule... Bleh... I know I want to visit, and I want to have a fun weekend away from Chicago... So I'll have to let go of my plans and see where the weekend goes ...

131 Miles Down 119 Miles To Go