Mile 250

After forcing my dad to the gym two days in a row, he was a trooper, today I ran outside around the town I grew up in.  I had been telling him it was too cold (below freezing) to run outside, and that I didn't have the proper gear to run in.  So today I ran in the new nike windproof hoodie he bought me for outdoor winter running.  I'm not sure if he was being thoughtful getting me something I wanted, or if he was tired of the meathead gym.  Something about running around a place with so many memories made me think about how far I've come from the last time I ran this route.  I remember running with my friend who was prepping for the marines (not the marine I dated).  Talking about how I was going to quit my job, about how I wanted to go back to school and move away for the first time.  I could barely get through the whole run without feeling like I was dying.  He was talking about rifles and survival skills and I was talking about student loans and Boston seafood.

I remember this stupid hill that I couldn't get up, and today I realized it's right at the beginning of my fourth mile.  I ran through it in the snow like it was no big deal.  I completely forgot about it.  Hopefully this stupid hill is kind of like my annoyance with being single around the holidays, and next year I won't mind or I won't be single anymore.  My marine friend who I was running with just bought a house, and is getting married in Ireland in a few months.

After I got back from my run, I realized that I beat my original goal today.  I ran 250 miles in less than one year.  Bring on the next 65.

253 Miles Down 62 Miles to Go

The Worst Day of The Year

Today is the worst day of the year.  It's 365 more days until Christmas comes again.  I always hate today. So much that I want to change this when I have my own family.  It's frustrating how on holidays families get pulled between a million different houses, or maybe this is just a divorce kid problem.  Anyways, I want to have my family celebrate the holiday the day after just us.  It'll be our own holiday that we can always have, and never overlap with another family party.  Then maybe I will love today :)

I forced myself on another four mile run, because I realize that after a year of crazy hard work ... I may not make my goal.  I may fall behind because I got overwhelmed with work in graduate school and didn't put in the time.  I stood between my dad and the TV again until he caved and took me to the gym.  I told him it was too cold outside for me to run, so I needed him to take me to the gym as his guest.  Which was true, but I also know he feels better when he comes home from working out.  Successful use of peer pressure :)

This year I spent Christmas running from my dads girlfriends house to my brothers girlfriends, and I started wondering if I really wanted to be in a relationship.  Yes, it's a lot of fun to buy yourself fun presents, but it's also a lot of fun to buy them for someone else!  (And get them of course ...)  I've had such a focus on school and job searching that I've really not dated anyone (except dimples) since I got here.  I think this is the first Christmas since high school that I wasn't in a relationship or missing someone I use to be dating.  I think my problem is that I've been pretty bad in the past of "picking" who to date.  I dated someone who was an emotional roller coaster, then moved on to someone who was so flat lined and noncommittal we didn't fight ever in the four years we dated.  Not sure if this is good or bad, but I'm going to eat a ton of food tonight and just have fun with my family.  I'll be leaving them soon for a bobsled race anyways!!

249 Miles Down 66 Miles to Go

Stranger on a Plane

Today I had a moment of panic.  I am not going to finish my goal.  I have 70 miles left and four weeks.  I am in over my head.  I am also sitting on the couch.  So I got up and got to it.  For four miles today, on Christmas.  I wedged myself in between my dad and the TV until he caved and took me to the gym.

Just when I decide "no more dating" I meet a random guy on the plane that I really click with.  He is of course awesome, and totally undatable.  He lives in San Antonio.  I ended up on a plane going from Boston to Charlotte and then to Chicago.  He was going from San Antonio to Charlotte to Chicago.  We spent the entire two and a half hour flight talking, all the important topics: foodie things, traveling, camping/hiking/running, dating, working from home, making friends in new places.  (I don't camp/hike, but he did).  I haven't had a good conversation like that with someone in so long.  At the end of the flight he asked me if I wanted to keep in touch, and we ended up getting coffee and walking around Chicago a few days later.  He called me.  Like actually on the phone.  I'm always saying I hate technology, no one is personal anymore, and then he called me and I was freaked out.  I'm not sure why, but it makes you super awkward. I had a good time with him again, and we even joked about him coming to Copenhagen with me.  He didn't have a passport with him, and he kept joking he'll never travel domestically without a passport again.

Life is funny.  It was a great date.  Who knows how it will play out ...

Merry Christmas, I got my grades!  I give up.  Well ... I don't give up, but I'm changing my focus drastically.  It is insane how much time I need to put into studying to get A's.  The first quarter of school, I studied all day every day.  And, I got 2 B's and 1 A.  Second quarter, I studied barely ever.  I didn't even open one of the books I purchased, and I got the same grades.  Being the super smart graduate student that I am, I've realized that I can scale back on the intense studying I was doing and focus on getting a job that I want to have.  

245 Miles Down 70 Miles to Go

Bobsleds

Lately I've been doing what could be dumb things.  I've been talking to my exboyfriends.  I'm not sure why, but around the holidays, I always think about what I was doing on past holidays, and then I start thinking about guys I've been serious about, and then I start wondering what they are up to.  And then I'm considering recycling again.  I'm trying to stay distracted with working out and school and try not to focus on guys I've already dated.

I also did something extremely exciting ... I had a pair of boots (Patagonia) give out on me ... and I brought them in and exchanged them for a brand new pair of $180 boots, for free!  This is not the exciting part, the exciting part is that I had to do this because I just booked a trip to Copenhagen for new years and then to Winterland Germany for a bobsled race.  What am I doing?!  I should have been studying for final exams, but instead I found this to be a much more pressing issue.  One of my friends was talking about a trip to Europe, and my ears perked up.  "Want to go to Germany and see a bobsled race?"  My impulsive reaction was, "Can we go somewhere else too first?"  And now I'm prepping to visit Copenhagen and Winterland in the middle of winter.

241 Miles Down 74 Miles to Go

MPH in the Long Run

I've been accepted into the Masters in Public Health program.  I can't decide if it's good or bad.  I think I'm applying to diversify myself further than an MBA in health care already would.  I'm not sure that's even necessary?  I don't know what to think.  I talked to my favorite Operations teacher, and she gave me some pretty good advice.  She said if I want the career I've been talking to her about, then it probably won't be necessary.  However, if I want to diversify myself and one day move into health policy, then this would be a good choice.  I think I'm trying to get out of the Business School ... and not necessarily focusing on what I want to do next with my career.  I also found out ... my scholarship may be at risk.  Some other students who chose dual degrees ended up losing their whole scholarship or part of it.  It started to seem like a more expensive option that wouldn't necessarily add much more to what I'm already doing.  So I'm turning down the offer.

As soon as I decided that I would turn down the offer, the admissions office started calling me and emailing me.  It's like they knew!  They wanted to set up my first classes, and I was still super unsure.  I think this is the first time I've started turning things down.  I feel like I always get pulled between one thing and the next in life (dating, jobs, social plans...), and I usually take the next offer that is good.  Not this time!  I'm setting my sights on the long run with big decisions.

239 Miles Down 76 Miles to Go

Why Nothing Gets Done

I got my grades back.  Handled that like an adult.  My friend and I got the email.  Closed our computers.  Left the business school.  Immediately ordered two stiff dirty martini's.  It seems like our grades were determined somewhat arbitrarily.  I keep trying to remember, that they don't matter.  And failing in graduate school means getting a B-.  I came here to get health care background and to learn more about hospitals in the area.  As long as I don't fail out, or lose my scholarship I think I am ok.  I'm not use to getting any B's, so I hate it.  Next module, I will just decide to prepare for every exam, and put the social and career exploration second.  Hopefully eventually I'll have more time for those things.

I also made a huge decision, I applied to get a Masters in Public Health.  I'm not really sure why, I made an impulse decision.  I can get my MBA and my MPH in two years for the same price.  I'm not 100% sure I'll need it with my career goals, but I would really like to be in a less competitive and more organized environment.

However, I feel like I've finally discovered the reason I went to grad school: My Ops Professor.  She's amazing.  She use to be a nurse practitioner in a hospital.  She got frustrated that she couldn't make process improvements to the way things were done, so she went back to school.  She focused on operations management and when she graduated she went into hospital consulting.  Her professor said to her one day, "You're so smart.  Why do you want to go into operations?  All the smart people go into strategy."  She laughed and said, "That's why nothing ever gets done."  I love her.  I went to meet with her, and after 45 minutes of talking with her, she just bluntly said, "What is your dream job, and how can I help you get it?"  She does hospital consulting for the hospitals in the area FOR FREE.  She feels bad charging them for identifying changes she thinks are so obvious.  She's putting me in touch with people in Boston, and I'm meeting them for coffee.

So now ... I need to really think about what I want to do next year.

224 Miles Down 91 Miles To Go

Distractions

I'm 28!! First run as a 28 year old: check.

I've taken some time off running ... not on purpose, but because if I didn't stop running I'd have to stop sleeping, eating, or showering.  I can not believe how time consuming school has become.  I'm done with final exams, FINALLY, and I've already finished my first three classes of grad school.  I'm not sure how people with no business background are able to pass these exams, I've taken these classes before, and it was a lot of work for me.  I feel like school hasn't fully taken into consideration the fact that we are supposed to be looking for jobs.  We have 18 hours of class a week ... and 2-3 hours of homework for every hour in class.  Which means, I am studying roughly 60 hours on the short end.  So I've decided how to deal with this ... I just stopped studying for some things.  But I'm finding a direct correlation between studying and passing exams.  Whenever I study, I get an A.  Otherwise, I barely pass.  So now I'm just trying to balance all this and learn about hospitals and make new friends and get a beer every so often and I have barely had any time to think about having a relationship!

I didn't dimples again this weekend, but I did figure out his name.  This could be a distraction ... I think I need to decide if it's a distraction that I want.

216 Miles Down 99 Miles to Go

Balancing Alcohol and Friends

I love love school.  I'm starting to feel like a bit of an alcoholic though.  The stress level is so incredibly high, that people are basically sprinting to the bar next door as soon as class is over.  I didn't realize school was going to be like this.  Sometimes I feel like I'm not really learning, like I'm just memorizing things to get through the next exam and hoping they'll pick that material to test me with.  It's insane, I'll learn three subjects in seven weeks.  Rapid fire.  I've just started picking things that I won't do ... and hoping for the best ... I think I'm supposed to focus on my career also at some point ... Right now, this is on the back burner.

I started missing non-alcoholic bonding.  So much that I realized, I can have it if I plan it.  So I invited some friends over and had a nice dinner and couple bottles of wine.  I thought I'd have 3-4 girls over, but I ended up with so many people saying yes that I had to go buy more wine glasses!  It's not completely non-alcoholic, but it was nice to change the scenery from the bar down the corner.  It's weird to think that I didn't know anyone I am friends with now two months ago, and now we spend 24/7 together.  There's no better way to make you feel like an adult than to have a "dinner party."  I even had wine glass charms ... Not completely grown up though, they were mustaches.

It's also a little bit weird to have a group of girl friends to hang out with.  I've always had one or two best friends, and sometimes girls can be so overwhelming that I'm surprised I had such a good time with everyone.  I am sort of starting to miss guy friends though ... And it's so weird to become guy friends with guys who are married.  You can't hang out with them the same you can guys who are single.  I really miss having guys to hang out with and joke around with.  So much more easy going, and flirty fun.  I feel like I'm just finding balances between lots of things now.  Career and school.  Alcohol and non alcohol bonding.  Girl friends and guy friends.

204 Miles Down 111 Miles To Go

What's in the fridge?

I usually never write about a one mile run anymore ... In fact, I haven't run one since February (eight months ago) when I started this little personal challenge.  Today though, I really needed this.  I have midterms next week.  I've heard rumors and stories about how people go to graduate school, get swept up in the sea of classes and networking and emerge two years later.  Knowing several friends that have done this, I have always been annoyed with it.

I have sent several apologetic text messages this week.  This morning I opened my fridge and stared at it for 10 minutes.  Literally stared at it.  It was 6:45 am, and I was staring at my fridge unsure of what I was doing there.  How many possible things could one be doing at 6:45 am in front of a fridge?  So today, I ran to yoga, I did an intense workout, and I biked home.  My legs are jelly, and my brain is mush, but people keep telling me I'm learning things.

196 Miles Down 119 Miles To Go

Less Could be More

Ugh ... Group work ... There is nothing I dread more than a group of seven strong willed people trying to agree on something and maintain friendships.  After a two hour meeting, I needed to run badly.  I ran four miles and felt like I could have kept going forever.

I'm so incredibly happy I started running when I did.  It is always the same, and it always makes me feel better.  Every time, I put on my shoes, and running gear, prep my phone, and put one foot in front of the other, repeatedly.  No matter if I run one miles or six miles, I still experience the "running high."  Apparantly, this is part of what addicts people to running.  That incredible feeling of "I can do anything" you get immediately when you stop running.

I kept thinking today about our group meeting.  Seven people.  Four extremely engaged loud personalities.  Not a lot of room for compromise.  Two shy guys.  One seemingly indifferent, but always adding valid points.  I felt like we talked at each other for an hour and a half about an assignment that is ungraded.  There must be a better way to handle this.  I'm not sure why, but in undergraduate I always received amazing feedback from group members.  I feel like that is not so much the case here.  Before I set out on my run I sent an overly dramatic text a good friend:

Me: True of False, Group projects were designed to ruin your life.

Him: No one is dumber than the person that thinks they are smart.
Me: Thanks Buddha

Is it me?  It very well could be.  I think I'm smart and I have good ideas... Maybe I'm too aggressive.  I'm going to use this as a social experiment.  When we meet again Monday ... I am going to say as little as I can.  I'm going to switch to observing the situation and see how it works.  It's not how I'm use to acting in groups ... but maybe this group needs less of my thoughts all the time, and good thoughts when I really think they need to be brought up.

180 Miles Down 135 Miles To Go

Mental Exhaustion

I live in Boston.  This tiny little sentence still hasn't sunk in for me.  I still feel a little bit like a nomad, as I'm currently living on someone's couch out of a suitcase, as I have been for the past month.  I can't wait to not be homeless... On the plus side, the running paths are incredibly more scenic than the one path I ran along in Chicago.  And today ... I really needed it ...

Networking ... I'd like to stop using that word immediately.  I like making genuine connections to people I would recommend and am friends with.  Somehow I feel like its driven by quantity and political gain and less by real friendship and connection.  I hope I am wrong about this, and things here prove my initial snap judgement wrong.

I am so excited to get to know my class better ... we have 40% of students who are international students.  So many new countries to visit!!!  So far, I've made friends from Panama, Egypt, Isreal, China ... Just to name a handful.  I feel like I'm finally addressing my need to embrace risk.  I got some new neon running clothes (risky for someone who believes in a world of black workout clothes).  Every run I've gone on since I got here has been different.  I want to run all over this city.  I've even thought about using this as a way to meet more people in my program (in a way outside of drinking and studying).  I talked to a few girls, and we want to start a running club ... Seems a little aggressive with graduate school on the horizon, but I at least want to run some races before the snow rolls in!

When I finished this run ... I realized that I don't remember the last time a run made me exhausted, tired, or frustrated that I couldn't push myself farther.  Now that I'm mentally exhausted ... I can run forever.  Who knew?

179 Miles Down 136 Miles To Go

Coke Pill Box

Today I am simply overwhelmed.  I have met new people over and over and over again.  So much that I am re-meeting the same people and it takes both of us a minute to realize it.  I'm in my first week of graduate school.  I live in Boston, and I'm a student again.  What am I getting myself into ...

We've spent most of our time so far on 'introductory' activities.  One idea that keeps resurfacing that I have fallen in love with is that "everything you learn overlaps."  For example we discussed the issue that it is so incredibly difficult to distribute health care and contraceptives in developing countries, but they all always have Coke.  Why does health care and distributing proper health supplies need to be in a separate industry as Coke?  Coke has already figured out how to get this product to this location, and health care should be capitalizing on that knowledge.  I remember discussing this with my uncle before I applied to graduate school.  He introduced the case to me, and said that someone developed a pill box that fit between bottles of coke.  So when the coke was distributed, it brought along health care.  I want to be discovering that.

I thought 100% that I wanted to work in a hospital when I graduated, and now I'm not quite so sure.  I don't want to get caught up in the hussle and bussle of what is popular or most sought after.  In my undergrad I was convinced that I was ment to be an auditor.  They made the most money, were the toughest jobs to get and majors to master.  I got confused between something that I was good at and something I wanted to spend my time doing.  Something I was passionate about to make a difference in.  As it turns out, I spent a summer doing audit work, and half way through I called my adviser and dropped every class I was in.  There were ten grown adults sitting in a room sending instant messages to each other instead of talking.  The people I was working with were so averse to actual communication that they would rather type and stare at a screen instead of make eye contact.  I was not ment to be an auditor ... I also learned, that just because my accounting grades were good ... Doesn't mean I should be in accounting.  So now I am here trying to sort out something that I enjoy so much that I will create a pill box that fits in between coke bottles.

175 Miles Down 140 Miles To Go

Graduate School

Mile 2!! I'm making my first major change.  Today I mailed my acceptance letter to Graduate School.  I'm getting an MBA.  To be fair, I started making this decision months ago when I took the GMAT and put together an application.  I've spent a lot of time and research trying to decide if this would be the best next move for me.  My career started in IT Consulting and moved to Internal Operations Consulting.  I think I've stayed in this area for as long as I have because I hate problems.  I can't stand when things don't get done correctly when it's possible.  I enjoy fixing things and saving time and money for people.  There are so many things about Consulting that made it difficult for me to have the kind of life I wanted, primarily traveling Monday - Friday working 12 hour days.

At the risk of sounding like every other college graduate, I want my work to matter.  Ultimately, I want to be realigning processes and making improvements in a hospital.  As an Operations Consultant, I am currently in the health care industry.  A couple years ago, I spent two weeks in the hospital.  After seeing everything that can happen and go wrong ... I would love to be in the position to help improve that environment.  Plus, who doesn't want to go back to college life for two more years?  So ... I'll be quitting my job, trading in my business casual for jeans, and moving to a new state in six months!

If I keep making drastic changes like this after every two miles ... I could be a foot taller living in Australia next year working as a professional soccer player.

2 Miles Down 248 Miles To Go