Bikram's Savasana Pose

Just when I think I've blocked all ping pong balls ... a friend tells me, did you see on facebook your ex is moving to Ohio?  I felt like someone punched me, all air escaped.  I felt like when we were together everything stayed in this sort of levitating middle ground never moving forward and never moving backwards.  Now he's moving forwards.  I freaked out, I wanted to run, but of course I'm in the middle of another Chicago Temper Tantrum snow storm.  I couldn't sit still, It was all I could do to focus on my work for the rest of the afternoon.

So I went to Bikram Yoga.  90 Minutes, 26 Poses, 105 Degrees, leaving you with barely enough energy to think about anything other than the placement of your limbs.  I started Bikram for the same reason Bikram started Bikram ... He blew out his knee.  I've had four knee surgeries, and I've used Bikram to help rehab myself and break up scar tissue after each of them.  It's a combination of compression and strength building exercises that push your body to its limits.  I'm pretty sure it is what got me back to running, I went without doing it for so long.

Today I was so anxious that I threw myself into class.  There are three series, standing series, laying down series, kneeling series.  During the floor poses, there is a pose in the middle called Savasana also known as "dead body pose".  It took me quite a while to be able to control my mind enough to listen to the teacher and take their corrections.  Today she said something that hit me, "Be still in Savasana, it's the only time your body can recover and receive all the benefits of the hard work you do during the other poses."  As soon as she said that, I realized ... I'm in Savasana.  I have four months left at my job, five months left in Chicago, one month to spend in Kenya, and then my life will be turned upside down.  I need to relax and let all the relationship work I did with my ex to make it work sink in.  I spent four years working hard to make it work, and now I'm resting.  I've seen that relationship so different over the past year, and I know over time it wont affect me the same.  However, I saw something on pinterest that said "I am not Adele, I do not wish the best for you, but I do hope to set fire to the rain and watch it pour down your face."  I'm not quite to the point wanting him to be happy and not being affected by him yet, but I'm just going to busy myself and try to enjoy this Savasana.

19 Miles Down 231 Miles To Go
1 Bikram Yoga